I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
