i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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