Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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