So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
