I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
