All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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