When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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