guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
