I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
