There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize