I want to walk on stilts...naked
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
