i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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