i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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