Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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