That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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