Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
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It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize