where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
