it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
