the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Randomize
