Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
