So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
