we're blogging at a bar
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
