My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
