I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
