We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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