let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
