Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
