Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
