woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
