he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize