I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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