I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
