Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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