Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize