I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
