oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
