I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
