Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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