Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
