Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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