Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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