I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
