I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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