yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
