I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
