Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
