I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
