She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
