Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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