i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
