My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
