based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
