I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
