im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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