This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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