Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
