hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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