Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
